Black Jimmy Olsen sounds like a rap duo of like Mos Def and Ed Sheeran.
Black Jimmy Olsen sounds like a silver age bizzaro opposite.
But Black Jimmy Olsen is one of the best characters on CW's Supergirl.
Jimmy Olsen has classically always looked like Archie Andrews.
He's Superman's Pal, awkward and geeky and disaster prone.
But that was the white version.
At first I didn't like Mechad Brooks' casting. This would be a big buff sexy underwear model version of Jimmy Olsen, oh and he's smooth and cooler than Barack Obama.
At first he was into Supergirl, as was the nerdy white Winn aka Toyman Jr.
So we still had a geeky semi-Jimmy if we needed.
This new big buff black Jimmy seemed like the obvious choice for Supergirl. I hated it.
Oh and he didn't like "Jimmy" - now he was "James". The maturization of Archie Andrews? What!
A Black Betty and Veronica sounds great. Black Jughead or Reggie Mantle might be problematic.
But a black Archie? But then I remembered that originally Archie was supposed to be the Cool idea of a kid, in a band, has girls and friends and popularity and is supposedly hot enough for Betty and Veronica who are the two baddest chicks in Riverdale. (Interestingly the CW show Riverdale would come out on the heels of this version of Archie Jimmy).
So in today's world it makes sense that "James" Olsen is buff and black and bangin pause..
There are a couple Black Supermans and the concept works perfectly. He feels alien. Heroic. Black Flash's wife is hawt, Black Wally West is great, the Flash show works tremendously, yet they still went with a white Flash. Black Green Lantern has a lot of history yet they still went with white Hal Jordan instead of John Stewart when the movie was greenlit.
In the most recent season, he is no longer into Supergirl Like That, and instead is romantically involved with the beautifully pale white Lena Luthor. Both are successful and attractive and intelligent and confident. Ship-worthy. And Supergirl's eventual beau Mon-El would be played by her real life boyfriend who is a white dude and is great.
James Olsen would eventually take on the mantle of The Guardian who was a white guy way back when as one might expect, but also in the 90's was a black dude who is awesome. So the arc worked out for all involved for the best. And Black Jimmy Olsen became the most likeable character ever.
Would a White Black Lightning work though? NO! We will see how they do Lightning Lad soon..
Monday, August 20, 2018
Monday, August 13, 2018
James Gunn fired by Marvel, Iceman now confirmed gay
So James Gunn directed some great Guardians of the Galaxy movies, but Belko Ecperiement must have pushed some corporate buttons. Better fire him and hire a director who doesn't make fun of the pedophilia industry, you know like Bryan Singer - Weinstein can produce.
My thoughts about gay Iceman, no not the Val Kilmer Tom Cruise love interest from Top Gun, Marvel's Iceman, Bobby Drake.
Writer who claims Portland B M Bendis (oh that's why he doesn't go by his first two initials), before leaving by Marvel to write some awful Superman stories for D.C., brought back the original 60's X-Men with travel travel, so he could just write these page-filling snippy dialogue clunks with two Cyclops's and whatnot, oh and a young Jean Grey. Instead of things happening, we could have characters repeatedly use the expression "(...is something I'd never thought I'd ever say...)"
So B.M. Bendis, the man behind a definite tangential aspect of SpiderMansplaining, decides to have the young Iceman tell old Iceman how he's gay. Adult Iceman, who other writers consistently have basically slaying the punanny, says no dude not gay like that. Oh and young Jean Grey tells young Bobby that he's gay because she read his gay thoughts and outs him, which was big news at the time.
Marvel just recently had to fix Bendis' mess by saying okay now BOTH Iceman (Icemen?) have gotta be the gay then, and adult Bobby Drake wasn't serious when he was for years in love with Polaris Lorna Dane Zaladane Darkstar Firestar Jean Grey even oh and his Asian love Jim Lee created in the 90's oh and didn't he have a thing with Rogue too..?
Years ago, Neil Gaiman wrote a Warren Worthington, "the Angel", as someone who was in love with who he thought was "John" Grey before s/he died like Jean always does eventually. This was in line with his character, who never really loved Psylocke or Candi, and makes sense retroactively to just go ahead and say he's gay. But Bendis instead had Warren Worthington fucxin wit Wolverine's daughter clone "X-23", Laura from the new Logan movie.
There were 5 original X-Men.
Iceman was never the gay one.
If Cyclops said he's now gonna go gay after losing Jean/Jean's clone/Emma/etc, that might work with the history. But he'd only be into some redheaded dude. Call me old-fashioned but I'm not ready for gay Cyclops with a blonde.
Hank McCoy, the Beast, had come out in the Grant Morrison run 15 years ago, only as a social experiment, while remaining in love with news reporter Trish Tilby. So gay Beast can be done well.
Here I have included a list of the gayest X-men. You will not find Iceman anywhere. Bottom maybe.
10. Wolverine (everyone knows, Wolvie)
9. Rictor (now actually gay as per Peter David's X-Factor run!)
8. Shatterstar (see above, although creator Rob Liefeld says he's not into it)
7. Maybe this new bearded Colossus after Kitty spurned him (he's an "artist")
6. Cannonball and Sunspot could only be gay with each other, while fathering kids elsewhere.
5. North Star (had big gay wedding event)
4. Magneto, as played by Sir Ian McKellan
3. Professor X, as played by real life Ian McKellan BFF Patrick Stewart
2. Cypher and Warlock become one, Douglock SelfFriend. It don't get no gayer than that except..
1. Gambit. You already know.
Not Iceman dadgum it!
And now Supergirl just cast a trans actor to play one of the most classic DC Legion of Super-Heroes, Dream Girl! Only now it's "Dreamer."
Everyone knows the trans Legionaire should have been Arm Fall-Off Boy! 100% real character!
My thoughts about gay Iceman, no not the Val Kilmer Tom Cruise love interest from Top Gun, Marvel's Iceman, Bobby Drake.
Writer who claims Portland B M Bendis (oh that's why he doesn't go by his first two initials), before leaving by Marvel to write some awful Superman stories for D.C., brought back the original 60's X-Men with travel travel, so he could just write these page-filling snippy dialogue clunks with two Cyclops's and whatnot, oh and a young Jean Grey. Instead of things happening, we could have characters repeatedly use the expression "(...is something I'd never thought I'd ever say...)"
So B.M. Bendis, the man behind a definite tangential aspect of SpiderMansplaining, decides to have the young Iceman tell old Iceman how he's gay. Adult Iceman, who other writers consistently have basically slaying the punanny, says no dude not gay like that. Oh and young Jean Grey tells young Bobby that he's gay because she read his gay thoughts and outs him, which was big news at the time.
Marvel just recently had to fix Bendis' mess by saying okay now BOTH Iceman (Icemen?) have gotta be the gay then, and adult Bobby Drake wasn't serious when he was for years in love with Polaris Lorna Dane Zaladane Darkstar Firestar Jean Grey even oh and his Asian love Jim Lee created in the 90's oh and didn't he have a thing with Rogue too..?
Years ago, Neil Gaiman wrote a Warren Worthington, "the Angel", as someone who was in love with who he thought was "John" Grey before s/he died like Jean always does eventually. This was in line with his character, who never really loved Psylocke or Candi, and makes sense retroactively to just go ahead and say he's gay. But Bendis instead had Warren Worthington fucxin wit Wolverine's daughter clone "X-23", Laura from the new Logan movie.
There were 5 original X-Men.
Iceman was never the gay one.
If Cyclops said he's now gonna go gay after losing Jean/Jean's clone/Emma/etc, that might work with the history. But he'd only be into some redheaded dude. Call me old-fashioned but I'm not ready for gay Cyclops with a blonde.
Hank McCoy, the Beast, had come out in the Grant Morrison run 15 years ago, only as a social experiment, while remaining in love with news reporter Trish Tilby. So gay Beast can be done well.
Here I have included a list of the gayest X-men. You will not find Iceman anywhere. Bottom maybe.
10. Wolverine (everyone knows, Wolvie)
9. Rictor (now actually gay as per Peter David's X-Factor run!)
8. Shatterstar (see above, although creator Rob Liefeld says he's not into it)
7. Maybe this new bearded Colossus after Kitty spurned him (he's an "artist")
6. Cannonball and Sunspot could only be gay with each other, while fathering kids elsewhere.
5. North Star (had big gay wedding event)
4. Magneto, as played by Sir Ian McKellan
3. Professor X, as played by real life Ian McKellan BFF Patrick Stewart
2. Cypher and Warlock become one, Douglock SelfFriend. It don't get no gayer than that except..
1. Gambit. You already know.
Not Iceman dadgum it!
And now Supergirl just cast a trans actor to play one of the most classic DC Legion of Super-Heroes, Dream Girl! Only now it's "Dreamer."
Everyone knows the trans Legionaire should have been Arm Fall-Off Boy! 100% real character!
Funny or Die stole "SpiderMansplaining" since I last posted
It happened again.
We've already had a laugh about the conceptual similarities between my "Last Fry" romance song and the "Last Fry" digitally released afterwards with SNL vets Beck Bennet and Kyle Mooney rapping my ideas through a Trump humored lens, with guest star Gal Gadot just to stick it to me further.
Now my ideas have gone stolen and uncited grievously yet again!
Funny Or Die saw the idea and took the funny out of my personal anecdote that headlines my one-man comedy show regarding the sharing of Spider-Man facts in a class of all women in a hilarious and awkward manner all my own.
The Funny Or Die skit is one minute long and is entirely unfunny.
A man with spiderbites explains to his girlfriend about spiders.
Get it?
Ha ha spidermansplaining NO.
Great punchline, it was mine so obvs, but terrible premise leading to it. I am beyond angry now. If anyone knows a lawyer you should Ack me as they say on the inkstagrand..
We've already had a laugh about the conceptual similarities between my "Last Fry" romance song and the "Last Fry" digitally released afterwards with SNL vets Beck Bennet and Kyle Mooney rapping my ideas through a Trump humored lens, with guest star Gal Gadot just to stick it to me further.
Now my ideas have gone stolen and uncited grievously yet again!
Funny Or Die saw the idea and took the funny out of my personal anecdote that headlines my one-man comedy show regarding the sharing of Spider-Man facts in a class of all women in a hilarious and awkward manner all my own.
The Funny Or Die skit is one minute long and is entirely unfunny.
A man with spiderbites explains to his girlfriend about spiders.
Get it?
Ha ha spidermansplaining NO.
Great punchline, it was mine so obvs, but terrible premise leading to it. I am beyond angry now. If anyone knows a lawyer you should Ack me as they say on the inkstagrand..
Wednesday, June 6, 2018
Tuesday, June 5, 2018
Saturday, June 2, 2018
Lightbulb jokes all original Entry #11
Why did the lightbulb go out?
To meet up with some friends.
How many spiders does it take to change a lightbulb?
One cobweb flickers in the wind causing scattered shadows...
How many mainstream scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?
They already changed the lightbulb, so they'll die overly frequently (planned obsolescence)
How many inventors changed the lightbulb?
It is said that Tesla's more efficient energy ideas were discouraged as Edison flourished.
How many nihilists does it take to change a lightbulb.
I believe it's None.
How many bad comedians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Louis C.K.
How many sacreligious people does it take to change a lightbulb?
JESUS CHRIST
How many meta comedy enjoyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Oh sure this guy here, he just thinks he knows alll the answers doesn't he..?
How many patriarchies does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ah just go have the missus take care of that while we discuss bigger things.
How many apples does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two apples. Now, How do you like them apples?
How many bananas does it take to change a lightbulb?
Hey watch out for that banana peel ! Oohh no no no whoops w w whoaaa..!
How many time travelers does it take to change a lightbulb?
You can't change History it's against the rules it would mess up the timestream
How many lightbulbs are changed each day?
And are they bad for landfills?
That's a serious question.
How many interrupting cows does it take to change a lightbulb?
Well that answer is MOO
How many OJ Simpson Jury members does it take to change a lightbulb?
The jury's still out on that one..
To meet up with some friends.
How many spiders does it take to change a lightbulb?
One cobweb flickers in the wind causing scattered shadows...
How many mainstream scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?
They already changed the lightbulb, so they'll die overly frequently (planned obsolescence)
How many inventors changed the lightbulb?
It is said that Tesla's more efficient energy ideas were discouraged as Edison flourished.
How many nihilists does it take to change a lightbulb.
I believe it's None.
How many bad comedians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Louis C.K.
How many sacreligious people does it take to change a lightbulb?
JESUS CHRIST
How many meta comedy enjoyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Oh sure this guy here, he just thinks he knows alll the answers doesn't he..?
How many patriarchies does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ah just go have the missus take care of that while we discuss bigger things.
How many apples does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two apples. Now, How do you like them apples?
How many bananas does it take to change a lightbulb?
Hey watch out for that banana peel ! Oohh no no no whoops w w whoaaa..!
How many time travelers does it take to change a lightbulb?
You can't change History it's against the rules it would mess up the timestream
How many lightbulbs are changed each day?
And are they bad for landfills?
That's a serious question.
How many interrupting cows does it take to change a lightbulb?
Well that answer is MOO
How many OJ Simpson Jury members does it take to change a lightbulb?
The jury's still out on that one..
Friday, June 1, 2018
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